MY LIFE AT DESPO PART 78

When i got there, meekest just added melon to the stew that was boiling onto the gas, i was shocked because the boy told me he had Egusi soup, awish he tell me say he just dey cook, i for kukuma go buy snack chop first na, before those angry worms inside my stomach finish me. “you just dey cook so?” i asked a rhetoric question (nor blame me, na hunger cause am). “no, wetin you see me say i dey do so? Dey there dey ask me stupid question for there until, kolo!” he fired at me. I didn’t reply him, i saved my strength to fix something for my stomach infrastructure. I got outside cos i contemplated going out to buy snack or anything edible that could occupy space in my stomach but i decided to save the money for another thing as i went inside the kitchen, packed dry garri in a bowl and added meat water from the pot of steamed meat and a piece of meat inside the bowl, mixed it together and went back inside the room, sat down and began to eat. (if you neva try the garri + meat water combibation before ehn, you dey miss!) Dafe came inside while i was eating and joined me. ” eat the one wey you dey see 1st” he was the one that meekest copied that motto from. “oboy afa the money na, you nor dey try o, if you nor be guy before, i know wetin i for don do you o,” Dafe said while we ate while i kept quiet and smiled while searching my mind for the right word to reply him at the moment. ” oboy talk na, which one you just dey smile anyhow now, wetin i talk dey funny?” he added. I smiled outwardly, while inwardly, i was like ‘who con send me make i com dis lodge today now, na wa o’ while i stood up to get water. I went inside the kitchen and brought 2 sachet of water, i opened one while i handed the other one to Dafe. ” blacky, dis your guy go sabi take care of him babes dem wel wel o, see as he dey give me water like say i be babe, if you wan show say you care, pay your money com now, nor be water you wan take bribe me” he said while he collected it from me and we laughed. ” oboy, for dis my garri wen you follow me share so, na half of the money you don chop so, wetin remain now be say, i go balance you 5k” i said while holding myself from laughing but i couldn’t cos he laughed out loud. ( dat kine laugh wen go make your laugh dey laugh). ” see dis kolo! If you nor even talk well now sef, na to just call community make dem com cramp you for here now” he said while laughing. At the mention of community, i felt weak and observed that(incase) should he call them, i was at disadvantage cos there was no escape route for as he was by the door, so while i cracking my brain for possible solution incase i was busted, i decided to say something else. ” bros, you harsh you, shuo, you wan call community for me wey be your guy?, nawa for you sef o, someone cannor play with you?” i asked him while we all laughed as blacky served brought the food he prepared and a hot bowl of eba. We went to the sink to watch our hands and immediately we sat down, Dafe started moulding lumps upon lumps of eba back to back. The ratio was like 5-2, meaning while he was on his 5th mold of eba, i was stil struggling with my 2nd mold while blowing it for it to get cold before swallowing. It was a handicap match, cos Dafe had natural cooler in his mouth cos the food nor dey burn the boy for mouth. While we were eating, Xtian(structure), Tega (Tico) and Peace walked in and went straight to the sink, washed their hands and joined us and the eating pattern changed. When i said the pattern changed, i meant it turned to survival of the fittest, while others where on their 3rd mold, i was stil blowing mine, the match was not on my favor. So i got up, went to the kitchen, cut some eba in a bowl, covered it and hid it in the kitchen cabinet, thats what we call set-keeping. When it comes to eating hot food, those guys were pros and i was upcoming then, so wisdom demands i remove my own codedly, while they battle for the rest, so that i’ll eat my own in peace when they have left. (don’t look at me like dat, i can’t com and be cheated ontop food na, so i gats (set-keep) secure). ” Efe don eat finish just now? Na wa o, the boy nor hungrt sef” Dafe said. “the boy na aje o, dem say make he nor dey eat other people food” Tico said. ” make ona leave the boy alone na, he nor dey eba, na only fried rice and chicken he dey eat” Structure added while we all laughed as they continued to (deduce) the food, i laughed at them, if only they knew my mission in the kitchen was. I went back and joined them while their shirt was soaked due to the hotness of the food plus the copetition among them, i just smiled and ate slowly and joyfully cos i have secured my stomach’s share somewhere. Eating with my (loved/liked one)niggas, shebi you know say crowd food dey sweet plus there is a kinda joy it brings. Thers’s fun in the competition among us while eating plus it kinda bond us together in a way. And somtimes e dey make you quick belle-ful.
We finished eating we got gisting, talked about school, the upcoming test, politics, economy and football. That evening the arguement of which Football team was better was so intense that you would think they wanted to fight. “You dey mad? You know how many League title MAN-U don carry? Nor repeat dat word again o, mumu, na 4th be the highest tin wey ona go win for Premiere League title, mumu” Gbokodo said while blasting an Arsenal fan. “your fada yansh! na only we fit dey give Barca problem for Champions league, for group stage, nor club for dis World go fit remove us, kolo like you, if you talk rubbish for there i go tear you slap,” the Arsenal fan retorted while we all laughed. – Lemme say something, do you know that some football fans don’t have sense? If you see where some people for dey ginger with all their strength dey defend their club(s) ehn, you go think say na their papa get the club or dem get Shares for the club, yeye dey smell. I have heard and read about some people who died fighting or stabbed due to arguement of whose team was superior. May they rest in pieces cos they died for a stupid course. Just imagine fighting/dieing for a club/player that doesn’t even know you exist, what is more foolish than that? Team die-hard fans, I’m not against supporting your favorite team o, but to the extent of indulging yourself in violence in the act, that is a no no for me, i think your brain should be examined cos to me, your are not normal, they need to tie your hands and leg bundle you to Yaba Left for proper examination. (don’t look at me like that) . – just remembered sumtin now, that was how 2 matured men almost disgraced themselves in a Sport Center on the 1st of this Month (Easter day), the day Eriksen and Dele Alli of Tottenham FC went to destroy Chelsea’s Stamford Bridge. To me, the best place to watch and enjoy football match is the Football Viewing Center (Sport Center), na there you go jam all the different kind of football fans( the good, bad and ugly). It is there you’ll see the different types of fans, E.g: *the ones that argue without facts. *the ones that shout at the top of their voices to make some point which are sometimes incorrect. *the ones that would want to fight you for opposing the teams they support. * the ones who are supporting a club but don’t know the names of their 1st-eleven or name of their coach (is dat one a fan sef?) *The ones that are just there to make noise. (the list is long but lemme stop here for now) That Easter day, if not for my intervention, maybe you would had seen something like this headline on front page: Port Harcourt: 2 football fans killed themselves in a sport center on Easter day. After Eriksen’s outside18 wicked shot goal at someminutes to the end of 1st-half, a guy shouted, “Yes! Chesea go hear am today, nonsense blues, rubbish Chel’seat, see Kante wit im short body and african juju face, Bakayoko dey run like fool with im big body” Some of us laughed out loud, some people get bad mouth o, choi. “you dey mad! Na your club be nonsense, your nor see say the goal na wayo! Why d ref go give dem a whole 2mins extra time for 1st-half, na ojoro!” a Chelsea fan fired back at the guy. “guy nor tell me say i dey mad again o cos nor be you i talk to, if you try am again, i go just slap you here now” the other guy fired back at him. I sat inbetween them was calming the guy down cos he was muscular and he was vibrating. “bros, take am easy, you know say some people nor sabi talk, just relax, e nor easy to lose, na pepper eye dey worry d guy so, nor mind am,” i whispered to the guy who the Chelsea fan attacked and he smiled. “bros you nor try o, everybody get their opinion o, you nor suppose tell dis man say him dey mad cos nor be you him talk to” i whispered to the other guy while i asked him to calm down. The funniest part was that nobody cared about them while they almost fought if not for my intervention, the only thing the rest people contributed was, “ona dey disturb o, if ona wan fight, make ona carry ona noise go outside”. (Naija i hail o!) – For the records Meekest is a strong ‘You’ll never walk alone’ fan, for those who don’t watch football, i meant, Meekest is a strong Liverpool fan. The guy say na dem (Liverpool) go carry Champions League dis season o, I wish Sam all the best shape. But if dem not win am…. . Meekest wetin I go use your eyes see ehn.. you go surprise .. Incase you are asking which club i’m supporting, lemme tell you, *clears throat, as for Me, Myself and I, i’m a fan of The Winning Team FC plus i like watching entertainment football. I miss Ronaldinho, Thienry Henry, Okocha, those guys can confuse your destiny with dribbling and skills. Ronaldo, Neymar and Messi dey try now o, but Ronaldo nor dey too dribble again like d time wey he dey MAN-U. Bros dey aim for goals and more goals now. This is my opinion o. (make i stop here for now) – Back to the matter, all the babes in lodge came out to join us outside while we laughed and talked about football. Gbokodo fit burst person head for MAN-U matters o. .

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