TOTO PASS TOTO 21+
Subtitle: F–k Mark Z.
I was not smiling when i got to the yard,
Ayomi was standing in front of the yard.
The moment she saw me, she started
beaming like am father christmas.
Ayo: welcome uncle Vic.
Me: afternoon, Ayo *going my own*
Ayo: ehnn… I wan ask for something
*hope is not money*
Me: wetin be that? Hope say em no
concern money *the tie was strangling me
so I adjust it a bit, Biggy tied it as if I
asked him to help me out in committing
Ayo: no, ………. *temptation*
Me: tomorrow *she started smiling shyly
I unlocked my room ’cause Biggy was not
inside the room, I entered and first
checked all the pots I have for food, at last
I saw one with rice.
I carried the pot with a spoon, sat on the
bed and started devouring the food.
The door opened and Biggy came in.
Biggy: wetin happen? This one you dey
eat like occasion madman. *I swallowed
the rice in my mouth*
Me: na only for 9ja, you go apply for 70k
job. Them go ask you 2billion naira job
Biggy: no wonder, na em make you invest
all your frustration for that innocent pot of
Me: the pot nodey innocent, it is the ’cause
of my hunger.
Biggy: sha… We dey enter one church like
that for all night, God don heal me.
I would have refuse, but I needed miracles
in my life. So, we started sleeping after I
took my bath in the afternoon.
6pm, I woke up and prepared beans that
we ate around 8pm, Biggy nearly cut off
my head for delaying the food.
When we were done, we set out for the
On our way we started hearing voices, the
next two public yards to ours, is known for
quarreling everyday. And the one that
usually starts this quarrel is Segun wife,
because her husband is muscular, the only
place that there is no muscles is his teeth.
He could be employed everywhere as a
bodyguard, even to the president. I avoids
his wife more than HIV.
Segun wife: useless woman, have you
been f+cked by body builder in your life?
see your slim hungry husband, goan feed
Voice 1: body builder wey dey m+an for
night instead of you, your husband p—k
small pass rice seed. Ashawo!!! *clapping
Voice 2: mama Uchechi, leave that woman
na, before her husband go come beat up
Biggy: the other woman bad oh, she dey
listen to their night brigade.
Me: na the man i dey pity, em no go gree
come yard for two days.
We got to the church late, because the
pastor was already on the pulpit.
Pastor: aaahh! aaaahhh… Your enemies
shall not see tomorrow, can I hear amen?
Pastor: caste the devil of poverty in your
family, now now!! Pray that prayer.
Voices: poverty die, poverty I bury, poverty
i destroy you, foundational poverty die!!!
I joined them ’cause we were killing
poverty, but the man refused to stop. As
the pastor was changing prayer points like
clothe, some people were carrying chairs
and praying. Others were hitting the wall in
prayer, some are marching the floor hard. I
wondered were they got that energy, i was
tired and sleepy, did not know when i
One usher nudged me, I staggered almost
I opened my eyes, the pastor was still on
Pastor: face East, face East, your enemies
Voices; enemies from East die!! Enemies
from East get accident!!! Demons of East
Me: which kind church be this? *yawning*
I would have checked the name of the
church earlier before entering, I dosed off
again and usher repeated what he did
earlier, I opened my eyes and saw that
they have been praying for the past three
hours non-stop, can devil survive this kind
attack to his kingdom?
Pastor: ….. Army of the Lord pray that
They started praying like army, including
the usher. I wondered someone praying
like that knows when someone is sleeping
in the congregation.
I pretended to be sleeping, and he walked
towards me to wake me. As he tried to
nudge me with his body, I shifted and
pushed him slightly. He collided into one
lady and both of them fell on the floor.
Lady: stupid man!! *resounding slap,
Pastor: Jesus! *everywhere quiet*
TOTO PASS TOTO 21+