When I realised that my father was starting to take note of me being useless on my studies I
seduced him.Stupid as he is he fell for my tricks and everything was recorded.The video is my
ticket to get everything I want..Even all that he never gave me I will get it..How does he expect me
to respect him after what we did.If he dares try to tell mom I will cry and say he raped me hence I
will never give him the video..
Dad: When will this stop Tendani? I am you father
Me: One who slept with me.
Dad: I hope you know what you are doing because this could destroy your mother and this
marriage. As for me I will still bounce back in life.I will get a new young wife and we will have
kids.Keep telling yourself that you have they upper hand.
With that he walked away..If daddy does that then I’m dead.Who will spoil me? I groaned in
I seriously have a problem..I cannot be working for those people when they are nothing but
manipulators because they have money..Just because we don’t have money doesn’t mean we are
stupid and we will agree to whatever they want us to do.What do I do because I need the
money.Rudzie and I need the money that much.If I leave my job then what will we depend on?
Just when one thinks that life is changing for the better things take a drastic turn.
When I got home I found her sleeping on the couch.She looked like she was troubled even in her
sleep.Who would seriously treat an innocent girl like her in such a cruel way though?
I carried her to the bedroom..
I have only met her recently but deep down I love her.I feel like I have known her all my life…All
the pain she feels because of her family is the same pain I feel because of mine.We have met for
a purpose..We need each other to get through this.I don’t know when all this will stop but i know
that together we will make it..
She opened her eyes and smiled.
Rudzi: Why are you back this time?
Me: I just wanted to be with you.
I took off my clothes and got in bed next to her..
Me: You in my arms feels right.
2 Months later
Me: How did it get to this point? We have nothing to our name Les.How will we feed another
mouth because already we are struggling..
Les: Babe we will figure it out..Im still working.
Me: It’s not enough.A child is expensive.
Les: I will work as much to provide.You let me do the worrying because I’m the man okay
Me: Okay.But I will also look for a job to atleast clean or even wash clothes.
Les: In your condition babe I don’t think so.
Me: I’m pregnant not disabled.
Les: I’m still refusing.
I raised my hands up as a form of surrender.
My relationship with Led has been great..He never allowed boss to come between us..Not ones
has he judged me.He understood my pain like a best friend would.Not only was he my boyfriend
but he was also my friend..Whenever I’m sad I always talk to him.Im the past two months i have
learnt alot about him.He even opened up to me about what he went through with his family and
how his ex left him for his cousin.Sometimes I wonder if he will go home and fix his relationship
with his family.So far our child won’t know his or her grandparents from both parents..
Les: We should go to the clinic tomorrow to make sure that you are really pregnant.we can’t rely
on a home test.
Me: If you insist.
Les: I love you.Let me get to work.
Me: Love you too.
I really hate the fact that he is still working late.Its not nice having him come home around early
hours of the morning.expecially since it’s weekend.
Les: Quit being sad.I will be home before you know it.
I forced a smile.
Les: That’s more like it.
He perked my lips then left.I went and locked up after he left..I took a shower then went straight to
bed but i noticed that Les forgot his phone.Now how will i call him when there is an
emergency.HonestlyI don’t feel safe around here when Les is at work,it started two weeks back
when I got threatening calls from boss and he was using a private number..Im always shaken
whenever thinking about him..
It wasn’t that long when I heard something breaking in the kitchen..I became scared same time.As
if it wasn’t enough boss appeared at the door with his goons..I froze at his site.I was scared for my
Boss: I have been waiting for this day for as long as I can remember.
He had a grin on his face.
Me: What do you want from me?
Boss: You.I have always wanted you.
Me: You old almost the same age as your daughter.Are you not ashamed?
Boss: I have tasted her p—y aswel so sorry to burst your bubble but I’m not ashamed.
He came to the bed.
Boss: Take off that shirt..NOW!!
I was wearing Les’s oversize shirt
I took it off slowly with tears falling down my cheeks.I was scared for myself and my unborn baby..
He stood up and took off his shirt exposing his big tummy.If this man gets ontop of me he will
suffocate me I swear..
He took off his trousers and boxers.I almost laughed at the sight of his manhood..It was erected
but small to be an old man’s..
Boss: Undress you b—h
Les: Baby I forgot my pho….What the? What are you doing here? Baby are you okay?
I still had tears on my face..
Les: Get the hell out of my house before I call the police
Boss laughed.
Boss: The police? I own this fucken town.The police are nothing but my puppies.And not
done with you yet
He pointed at me.
Les: And what will you do to her? Molestrates her? Oh wait you don’t have the d–k to do
that..Nigga you ain’t got shit compared to an uncircumcised child.You don’t even fit to be called a
Les was angry but calm..
Boss: Boys f–k him up..And you are fired.
The goons started beating Les up.I was screaming at them to stop and they stopped when boss
was dressed up.They left.
Les: Niggas beat like women..
He didn’t seem bad at all.He was even laughing.
Me: I was scared..I thought he was gonna rape me.Did you see how big he is.He was gonna
suffocate me and the baby.
I was now crying.
Les: Calm down babe I’m here.nothing will happen to you now..
Most people may hate me for the kind of life i live..Sleeping with brothers and their cousin aswel..If
ever one was in my shoes they would maybe understand why.Ethan has been looking for Lesley
but couldn’t find him because I asked his PA to lie and say he can’t find him..The story behind that
you will know sooner.

Rudzi was tossing and turning all night so we only fell asleep on early hours.She was holding on to
me for her dear life.Now I know that this has really affected her.Its gonna take her time until she

can be able to be left alone..I watched her as she was sleeping peacefully.The sun was rising and
it was very hot..I couldn’t sleep in such weather..I tried getting up from the bed without waking her
up but I failed diamisally..
Me: Babe it’s morning you can go back to not going anywhere.
She didn’t say anything but she closed her eyes again.I went and looked at myself on the
mirror.atleast those guys didn’t touch my face. But we have one problem.Im unemployed.
I may have been through alot in life but one thing I never forget to do is pray.I know all this are
trials to test my faith in God.I was busy cleaning up the house listening to worship house-thoma

nga nna Murena…This is one song that lifts my spirit.It gets me connected to my spiritual self and I
actually feel the presence of God in my life
‘Thoma nga nne Murena ndi shanduke
Thoma nga nne Murena ndi shanduke
Thoma nga nne Murena ndi shanduke
Ndi tshidzwe
Ndi tshile’
I don’t know how I got in the floor but u was on my knees praying with tears flooding my eyes.Its
really a difficult path with alot of obstacles.Its not even easy but I know God is watching.I know

God will answer my prayers.Regardless the situations we face we should not cease to worship
God.We should not for get to tell him how marvelous he has been to us.It wasn’t because of our
will that we woke up to another day but it was his will,love and protection that we are still alive..
And I know that it was written in the boom of Matthew 7: 7 that Ask and it shall be given to you,
Seek and you shall find,knock and it shall be opened unto thee. Our God is not a God of
disappointments.He is a God of restoration and prosperity.He is a God of peace and love..
I kept on praying until I felt peace in my heart.A lot of burdens have been lifted off my
shoulders..When I said Amen that’s when I felt hands pick me up from the floor. When you are inthe presence of the Holy spirit you feel like you can not withstand the feeling because it’s too
powerful for you..
Les : I’m not a saint but I felt the presence of God in here.
I just nodded..I didn’t trust my voice to speak.
Les: I didn’t know that I had that song in my phone.
Me: I downloaded it.
Les: I will keep it..It is one unique song that can get one in the presence of God in a matter of
seconds.It can even take a sinner like me to church
I giggled.
I felt sleep taking over my body.that is how peaceful I felt.
It was during the day so nothing can happen to her.I have to go out and seek for a job..I don’t care
what kind of a job it is but as long as it will bring food on the table for my Rudzani.I walked down

the street..I didn’t even know where I would start..There was alot of things occupying my mind.Im
at my lowest.Not once did I think life could ever be this cruel.Im a graduate.I went to school all
those years just to suffer like this.Just when I thought things will be better that man who calls
himself boss push me further into the mud.It bothers me how useless the qualifications I have are
of no use because of my own parents.Why didn’t they pressurise Ethan to go for this course so

that he can take over because he is someone who won’t mind….
I came across two ladies who looked like they were in their mid 40s..
Me: Good morning
Them: Good morning.
Me: I’m looking for a job.Even if it’s something small like gardening I don’t mind.
Lady 1: I have been looking for a garden boy for two weeks now.You could be of use..follow me.
I followed her.
Lady 2: Friend I hope you won’t turn him into what you turned the last garden boy you had.
Lady 1: This one is even cute..Look at his body..I can imagine the things he will do to me
I couldn’t believe what those two were saying.they were trying to whisper but I heard every word.
We got to her house after a while and she showed me her yard..It was messy so I got down to
it..She was sitting at the patio with her friend im sure gossiping about me..I thought I will be done

in an hour or two but it took me 3 and it was already 12 so I went to them when I was done.
Me: I’m done.
Lady1: Can’t you stay for long?
Me: No ma I can’t.I left my pregnant girlfriend alone..
She gave me the money
Lady1: Please come again after 2days.
Me: Okay Ma.
I took the money.
Me: I will take my leave now.
Them: Bye.
I walked away leaving them to continue with their gossip.
I woke up to no sight of Les.I honestly didn’t feel safe at all but I didn’t want to sound like a
nagging pregnant wife so I let it be..I miss talking to Nani.I miss doing alot of things with her.She

never called so I also didn’t bother especially after what she did.But I was no longer angry at
her.Im someone who can’t stay angry for long.I always forgive those who wrong me.I think that’s
what helped me keep up with mom’s treatment for all those years.Just like the Lord’s prayer we
should forgive those who wrong us as we expect God to forgive us for the wrongs me do…
Cooking is therapeutic so I went to the kitchen and cooked lamb stew and macaroni..Les walked in
as I was switching off the stove..
Les: Good afternoon
Me: Hey love .You seem to be in a good mood
Les: I very much am.I got a job as a garden boy.
Me: Wow that nice..It counts for something..
Les: yeah it does.But I will push until I find something stable..
Me: Why don’t you let me help aswel?
Les: Babe I said no
Me: Iyo okay..
Les: It smells good in here.What does a man have to do to be given food?
Me: I don’t know..Maybe eat me first.
He laughed hard.
I frowned
Les: Babe you are serious?
Me: I’m not talking to you.
I walked away to the bedroom.

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