Sharing something in common with someone
always has a way of binding you and the
But what happens when the person doesn’t
know that you even exist?
When the only memory about you is far gone?
I always knew about Levi Carter since I was 7.
I remember how it happened, I was sitting
outside of the therapist’s office when it
I was feeling lonely and insecure, without
direction, I was seven without no idea of who I
I remember wandering away from the office
and walking to the fire escape and climbing,
sitting on the ledge of the building looking
down, wondering what it would be like if I
“Do you want to jump?” A voice asks behind
me and I turn, it’s a boy, a little older than me,
( okay, he was a lot older but my childish mind
didn’t want it to seem so) he has dyed
brownish red hair that looks too gelled for
He has a Chelsea jersey on, eww, I hate
I don’t reply, just go back to staring at the
I feel a presence beside me and I turn to look
at the boy, irritated, what does he want?
Doesn’t he know I want to be left alone?
He sits on the ledge and I see him glance
down nervously, I want to tell him that if he is
scared he can go back but I don’t, I can’t form
the words, I just go back to watching the
people walking on the ground.
“It’s weird how people walk around and don’t
look up to see what the sky looks like” He
“Adults are weird” He says again.
I wanted to ask him if he isn’t an adult, he
looks about 14, he is a small adult, does that
make him weird too? But I don’t say anything.
“What are you doing here? Are you sick in the
head too?” I send a look his way but he
doesn’t see it because he is busy looking at a
hawk flying around.
“Don’t you talk?” He looks at me this time and I
still don’t say anything.
“OK fine, since you don’t talk just listen, it’s
okay to be different, it’s okay to be sick in the
head, my sister is too but i still love her, I like
you, you are pretty.
You look like a good kid, you shouldn’t jump if
that is what is on your mind, if you do I will
have to jump with you and I don’t want to, you
should go downstairs to the doctor and get
better, build your dreams and become what
you dream of, if you jump now you can’t make
it, I want to be a footballer, a very good one, I
want to be famous, you go on, be a teacher or
a doctor or even a trader, become something
so that we will meet again one day.
Who knows, we might become best friends ”
He says and I turn to look at him.
“What’s your name? I’m Levi Carter ”
And that is how Levi Carter saved my life and
made my small heart pound.
“If you just give me your hand, we will get off
the ledge together ” He says stretching his
hand towards me.
I look at his outstretched hand and then to his
face and he smiles, i take his hand and he
gently lifts me up and pulls me away from the
He sets me on the ground before kneeling
down in front of me.
He brushes my hair away from my eyes before
staring into them.
“You are a pretty girl, let’s meet again in the
future, I will be yours and you will be mine,
He asks stretching out his pinky finger and I
“Promise” My voice says scratchily. He beams
down at me and I try to smile, I have forgotten
His phone beep and he looks at it.
“I have to go now, my sister’s appointment is
done, do you want to walk down together?” He
doesn’t wait for a reply, just takes my hand and
leads me down.
I remember staring at his face all the way down
to the office, when I finished my appointment I
hung around waiting for him but he didn’t show
I lost Levi Carter for 5 years in my life until one
day I saw him on TV, I was 12 and he just
started his football career, I knew it was him
from the beginning, there was no way I could
forget the face of my savior.
And that is how my obsession started, I never
missed any of his games, I bought all of the
brands he sponsored, I worked hard so that I
could meet him one day.
Then tragedy struck, 4 years into his career his
sister died, I was Sixteen, he took it hard, his
sister had being bipolar, she had gotten too
drunk that night and had gotten into an
accident, her car had been T- boned.
He had taken the accident personally, derailing
going off track, excessive drinking and
partying, it had been ugly.
I had reached out, writing numerous letters,
baking numerous confections, hoping that one
of them would work.
He had pulled himself together and gone on
national TV to express his gratitude to the
anonymous helper, he had wanted to meet but
at that time I wasn’t were you wanted to be so
I didn’t go.
I knew that someday we would meet and I
would thank him for the help he rendered when
I was little.
That’s how diligent I wasn in my affection for
It hurts that he will never get to know me, the
real me but I will take anything I can get.
Anything at all.
I shared a special moment with him fourteen
years ago and even though he doesn’t
remember and even though he doesn’t know
that I was the one who helped him move on
from his grief, I am content.
I am content to be his fan, I won’t be selfish.
Thanks for coming along for TTTM’s journey,
you are the absolute best.
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