OGA D.P.O. him sabi beta tin
“As spata carry vex go yesterday,we no come get the opportunity to discuss about the offer at hand by big mama”
“na this morning i just wake up come dey reason whether to just accept the offer”but e no go make sense nah,come to think of it”if i should make the decision without spata’s concept,and thing no come work as expected”na who i go run go meet?
spata!”so i have to carry him along be that”oyibo people talk say two heads are better than one”abi?,so nahim be say i go reach spata crib”
“ah that reminds me o!,since wey we land for lagos i never go spata house,Chai no’i have to go there this evening,yea that one na for sure”
Na money be fine booboo!!!!!..my phone ring,as i rush go grab am look the screen only to see say nah big mama(jolade) dey call me”
so i pick the call sharpaly as i talk”’
“morning sweet heart”how was your night,hope you slept well?
ah like pikin ma”i sleep for bed wake under bed”u see that one nah to show u say i sleep well nobi small”
“oh! you have start again,silly boy, emm! spana..she called
“would you be available this evening and tomorrow?,,,,na she ask
“watin? hope no wahala””
“no not at all just that there is this wedding of a daughter of mine that i would be attending tomorrow in warri,so i would like us to go together”please can you accompany me?
“yea warri any problem with warri?
no o! not at all,infact am more than available,i full ground ma,shey na now we dey go?
“no spana”but wait o if i may ask,what is all this your excitement all about?
“ask Google” but na for my mind i talk that one o!
“nothing ma maybe na the party rice”i replied
oh no! spana hope u won’t come and disgrace me there,becos my main reason for taking u along is actually to display u around,i want my rich friends the senator wife and so on to see how handsome you are,i want to introduce u to them”
“ah that one nobi problem u suppose no say na joke i dey follow you joke nah” i replied
of course i know”abi who no no spana and his funny attitude eh”…she said
Ehe! spana there is still one more thing”
“watin that one cone be ?
you have to get yourself new nice dress”you need to dress hot i mean dress rich”
“naso leave that level for me ma”na you go dey beg me say my hottest dey burn your skin”
“i truth you dear”bye get prepared o becos we’er leaving by 6:30 today,we would log in a hotel till tomorrow that the event would hold”
“ok ma no shigbi shigbi”
tuuuu!”the call cut”
“Chai see opportunity to reach warri wey i don dey plan to visit since my ma’le halla me say make i reach cabar”
“ha! na to quickly rush go boutique go buy new wears o!”
so i open my drawer carry 20k”lock door then waka enter compound”boutique straight”
“as i step outside nahim i sight oga police leaving for work with him wife escorting him to gate as usual”na that time i remember say the woman tell me she dey sell clothe”
ah! i for do evil now o”thank gawd say i never go buy am”
so i carry chair seat for my frontage dey wait for her to come back,
“e nor tey as she open gate enter back”
“ah bros well done o”. she great
“goodmorming she great back bending on her kneel a little in respect just like average yoruba woman would do”
“Ehen” na clothes i won comot go buy for boutique sef,as i come sight u and Emm! oga polic
“his name is frank”she correct
“Ehen! ok oga frank”na when i sight una i remember say u tell earlier say na clothe u dey sell,nahim make relax for hia dey wait for u,make u escort oga frank com back”
“ah bros so u for carry my money go dash them for outside! Chai bros dey do well o”
“eh no vex jare hope say u still get some for house abi ur girls them,don carry everything go shop”
“no o! ha e still plenty for house sef,just follow me,infact na u go run sef bros,the kind quality wey them be eh! oju kokoro no go allow u leave any of them” she said as she lead the way to her apartment ,me sef i stand up follow her for back”
Chai so nah bum short this lady wear sef”ah ah how come i no see am since”na wia my eyes com dey look since na”
“Jesus see heavy load “this one na okwu,egbami eeeeggbbaaammiii,see as the thing take stand e com big” na this one na one in town o!
“if to say i go fit get this kind lady and marry eh,walahyi i go dey committed diee! ,i no for dey look all this small small girls tolo tolo yansh”nbanu na this one be standard deviation”
“infact i comot cap for oga police him get eyes Die,him com sabi beta thing die,come carry better thing till he diee!!
“na all this rubbish i just dey reason for my mind as i follow the woman behind til we enter their parlour”
“oya bros sit down,make i quickly go carry the clothe come…she said and left
“omo me sef i balance for one couch relax well well dey look around the whole parlour till i sight one picture frame for wall”
“na their wedding picture frame”so na 6months ago them marry sef,becos the date was written on the photo”
“i look again as i sight oga frank picture,omo.na d.p.o the man be”oga patapata”
” emmh bros abeg manage this one”you no say u never come my house before since u pack in so this one na to welcome u” she said as she place 5 alive on a side stool beside me ,and left maybe to get the clothes
“omo i grab the juice piaam”
“gbraaa!! i comot the cover”
“dom dom domdomdomdom!!!” agghhh!!!!”
“i finish everything drop the empty carton for the stool”
” omo my heart beat gem gem! as i sight the woman shaking a glass cup which she rinsed as she dey waka come”
” with hope say e still dey inside she grab make she pour enter the glass cup for me”
“ah ah bros”
“eh!!” i answered
” no vex o so na empty carton i carry come sef”
“eh! u sure,i replied
“yes na mtcheew e no go pass pelumi hand work that boy eh!
“wait make i go bring wine for u”i go deal with him later”
“she brought one wine like that,omo na lick i take tongue dey lick am small small so that watin do juice no repeat him sef again,naso she waka enter room”
“ah yo0! aunty please o! i no touch am i swear Ni tori oloun,i no near fridge sef”
“na the shout wey dey com out from their room be that”
2mins later the woman together with small boy about 13 years carry big big sack dey com out”
“ah bros no vex o!,na this my husband brother pikin wey come dey live with us”the boy too stubborn”
“ah naso all of us do when we dey this age so just leave am eh na small pikin him be”,,i replied
“oya drop am and enter room she commanded the boy,which obeyed as he drop it and ran enter house”
“so bros na to begin select”
ok i started selecting’ to be sincere na quality true true”
omo i select till she carry one fine trousers up”
“bros see this one o,e go fit u die
“but e no fit size me na”
“this one?,,,,she ask
“yes shebi na me dey tell u,if i see watin go size me i no need to test am before i go know”
“forget that one bros see i don dey sell clothe tey tey,i no new for this business wey u see so,
na out of experience i dey tell u
so test am first”
i stood up,collect the clothe from her and wore it”
“u see e tight na watin i dey tell u”
“na lie na becos u wear another clothe”just comot all ur clothe first and wear am again u go see say na your sure”,,she said
eh u said??,,,,,i replied in supprise
“ah ah bros watin happen abeg forget that level o”no go think say i won look ur d–k abi u no wear boxers”…..she asked
“i wear na but***
“No but bros comot clothe and wear this thing”abi u won come form innocent now”see i hear as annabel dey scream for ur room that day,so package that level o
“yes na abi i dey lie.see i even come put ear for window sef”
“aha ! now u know so bro comot that clothe now and test this one”…she said again
“ah i don enter am o!,how i go take comot clothes na” even as spana take stand gagaraga now for my boxer omo na disgrace o,becos no how she no take see the full length once i comot this trousers
“bros why u dey waste Tim na”see no how ur tin go long or big wey e fit reach my husband own “so relax no size wey i never see”carry this thing and test jare””. she pressed on
“i no for sure say this lady dey fall for me as me sef dey fall for am,but what of oga frank ewoo !! aye mi o!
“omo why my life dey always enter one corner everything”see now she dey blackmail me sef
“noting wey i fit do so i loosen my belt draw my trousers down as spana comot head from my boxer waaaa!!!!
ahhhh!! bros Jesus !!!!! na watin be this see as e long jesuuu!!!!…..the lady scream with her hands on her head..
to be continued