E SURE FOR ME
MEET MY NEIGHBOR
As I hear 150k, e come be like say na my bank account balance spata dey tell me,nahim I grab the bill comot for him hand, as I look am my drunkness clear fiaa for my eye
I come carry table water use am wash my face wella dat one na be sure of watin I dey see for the bill
Spata nah how much you talk say dem write inside this bill?????…….na me ask
Na 150k nah……….spata yan
I swear to tear you slap jus dey hungry my hand,infact your village people don succed in geting you o!,dem jus dey use your brain dey test the infectivness of their new winchcraft……na watin I tell spata be dat
Because na 15k dem write for the bill wia him go carry extra zero come join I no nor,mtcheew I don already tell una say na goat spata be ,dont worry I go yan una about him later nobi now,make I quickly go settle our bill becos night don land already
I waka go meet one attendant,nah dia I pay the 15000 naira,I for carry one better babe dey go house o! But onto say I don tire for the day nahim make me reason that matter as later things
Omo na drag I drag spata go house o!,the idiot don dey sleep naso him him just dey talk rubbish as we dey go
We manage reach house naso I drop spata for ground comot my shoe and climb my fine new bed chai the bed soft well well ….no go think rubbish oo
PIifffff!!!!!!i I naso I sleep till next morning…
I wake up for the following morning,look every wia but I see spata,so I just do my normal morning exercise na watin I dey always do to keep fit
I enter bathing room na dia I brush teeth and baff
The whole compound don already busy with children noise every wia onto say na Saturday no work no school
Ko! Ko! Ko!!!!
Peson knok for my door…….
Na only for naija peson go dey knok your door with hand and will still use him mouth dey shout ko ko ko join
Who dey diaa!!……I ask
Its me your neighbor……na man voice
Chai fvck up I been dey pray say make my neighbor be woman…
I near door as I open am…..
Goodmorning bro,I guess you are the new tenant right???….the peson ask
Na who be this one wey come dey use grama to dey spoil my better morning eh??..na for my mind I dey reason dat one o!
The guy na very handsome guy too just my stature…….
Yes na, nah me how things na?….I ask am as we shake hand
Am good bro,Am sentino by name,a banker but I wont be going to work this morning becos am in the afternoon shift…….
Ehen! Ha you be rich guy na……na me be spana the letest rugged guy in town,tho I never get work onto say I just land but with time I go engage na!
Did you just say spana,hey dude thats a funny name you gat there……
Yes you are free to begin laff if e funny
But guy I no dey like people wey dey speak too much English oo!
Oh oh! I see ,ok na I go see u leta in the day nah.i just say make I come greet you …..sentino said as him waka go
Me sef I waka go back enter kitchen,na that time I come remember say I never buy any food stuff put for house,chai I quickly carry my ATM.card,lock my door straight to bank
As I enter compound omo come see fine fine girls,me I nor dey look man na woman I always dey interezted in….
Some of them dey greet me onto say I be new tenant while me I dey greet some onto say I go like introduce them to spana
I later waka enter street at least bank no far from my house as e dey just across the road
I don almost reach main road o! Nahim I come see three aboki wey dey shine shoe chai una need to see argument
Aboki 1: walahyii I go schooo kwo na fur primly sikiss me I finish am….
Aboki 2 : furgate tha one I no say I no go zukul but me I zabi buuk pass you walayii
The third just stand.dey nack him box kpoi ! Kpoi ! Kpoi!! ,e be like say that one no dey speak broken at all becos him just dey shine teeth…..
Aboki 1 : oya if u sabi book pass me wey go schoo watin dem dey kwall monkey for English
Aboki 2 : hahaha!!!! Hayii hayiii!!!! Walayi you dey maky me laff well well kwoo!!
monkey fur English na chimpiezy nah who no sabi dat one….
Aboki 1 :chai na gawd safe you say you get am , I fur laff you tire!!!!
Chai laugh no gree me laff wia I stand,I just kukuma cross road waka dey go bank…….
I don almost reach bank before I sight one fine Lexus wey park for my front,one woman about 46+ waka come down as she carry her purse enter bank,but no be she catch my attention o! No e get one beautiful damsel wey seat down for passenger front seat omo the girl fine diee!!!
I just stand dey reason how I go take approach her befor her ma’le go come back tho she suppose don reach 25 yrs old the way I take see her na guess I just dey guess ni o!
As a smart rugged guy wey I be,I nor say this one go sure for me so I gather mind waka go meet am
As I reach her side omo her beauty come increase no artificial makeup at all,but the problem come be how I go fit get her attention becos she put ear piece for her ear close her eyes dey sing you are my African queen by tuface idibia
Chai come see sweet voice ,infact I go make this one my girlfriend becos she complete pa!!
Chai I try everything wey I fit do ,but this babe no gree open eyes e be like say the song dey enter her brain
I just vex tap am………
She shock as she quickly open eyes comot the ear piece sharlaly
Wow see beauty my heart mealt instanta,so I just smile ,my smile na electric shock to girls oo
Omo the way I take hear her accent she ajebuta oo ,abeg una go permite me make I speak English small
Me: with my Charmin smile still on my face,it seems you love that song so much cos I been gteeting you for a while now….
Oh!! My gawd please forgive my mannars,I was actually practicing,I do perform in shows….she said giggling
Comfirm comfirm comfirm!, since like music and she be singer,e don settle na,the thing na to just apply law 919 coded,it mean say mesef I go pretend and lie for am say I be musician too so e go dey easier for me to toast her
Na so I come fry better lie tell am say me sef I be multinationalinstrumentali,I fit play any kind of music instrument………..una need to see as the girl just happy she come open door com outside full
Wow you mean you can play music instruments very.well…..she ask
not just very well am a professional an expert for that……….I sweet mouth join
Wowwwww!!!!! Please can you give me your contact please I would like you to come to my show this evening,even the state governor will be attending,its a very big show please promise me you will be there…..she pleaded
Oh! Boy I tell una say I go make am for Lagos I tell una say I be baba for the girls chai if I fit make this one my babe e mean say I don turn rich man be that……
So we exchanged contact after I promised her that I will come to her show
Chai I rush enter bank go cash 30k nahim I use you food items full house
Later in the day after I don chop sleep,watch TV sotey I come tire nahim I go carry wall clock hold for hand dey look Rome ……
Ooooo!!! make four nack nah
3;30 pkam I rush enter bathing room go baff after that nahim I come remember say I nor get any suit at all
Better idea enter my head so I quickly run go sentino house since him be banker e mean say suit go full every wia…
But as I nok na one fine babe that wey wear bom short open door I guess na sentino girlfriend chai the girl over make sense Iook her sotey I come forget watin carry me come
She just close door as I no talk anything na look I just dey look am
Sentino tire rapper come outside na den I comfirm say my bros dey do assignment
Bros thank gawd say you neffa go work oo….I greet
Abi na I for won go but my babe Maya just land from her mupssi side for katakata street come my side so I decided to waya small nah!!
baddoo I dey feel you bros sentino,abeg you fit borrow me any of your well ironed suit
abeg I go one interview like that
Chai sentino na sure guy as him carry one better suit gimme……
3:45 I don already dey road,e no tey before I reach the big gigantic hall wia the show hold omo no be small show be that oooo
Come see big big men car full every wia Chia to buy car come dey hungry me but na keke I take come sha
I enter hall after the bouncer grant me entrance when I show them the iv card wey the babe don gimme earlier
Every wia don full gbimm as I enter,every wia just dey smell rich rich
I stand dey look befor I sight her coming to wia I dey stand with better smile for her face…
She hug me as she reach wia I stand omo this too make sense pass Maya sef ..I must get this babe o
She carry me go wia her Parents seat down
Nahim she come introduce me as her very good friend say I be multinational instrumentali
Chai my head come dey swell as I shake hand with both her ma’le and pupsi
Him papa na rich man oo because na two bouncer and two soldier dey stand for him back as body guard…
The girl later carry me go another sit na for dia we sit down dey gist before the stupid MC come call her up in the stage say make she come perform
She excuse her self as she waka go stage omo come see clapping
She carry microphone,,,,thank u thank u everybody am glad you all came to my show this evenin wont be perfoming alone today,there is a friend of mine who is an instrumentalist ,both would be doing it this evening I will do the singing while he would be playing the keyboard
Please help me to welcome YOUNGZUBI !!!!!!!!!!!!!
chai shiit catch me wia I sit down omo I don enter am today
I tell the girl say my name na youngzubi base on say spana local
People begin clap mesef I follow them dey clap infact na my own loud pass
She wait wait and wait for wia I nor even stand up
Nahim she come use her hand come drag me go stage
Omo I go seatdown for wia the key board dey nahim the girl come whisper for my ear say her voice dey for F key
Chai cold sweat catch me as I sitdown dey look the keyboard dey wonder why the white keys come long pass the black keys
Zubi stary now …..she shout
Chai I don die oo!!for my life I never touch keyboard before but I gather mind press one key
Piaaaa!!!!!!!!,the whole speaker shout chai wewe nahim come hold me instanta
I press black one
Zubi be serious now stop playing with the key board….she talk
I come gather all strength take press the whole keys both white and black together..
Chai una no like hear the sound wey the thing make as the girl vex trowey mic and run go down the stage
Omo fear catch me infact I begin dey drop we we for sentino trouser as I sight the girl papa soldier as them dey climb stage come meet me with vex……
Na watin I go do oooo!!!!! Gbese le oo!!