something must kill a man (2)
spata my sure guy!!!!
i been dey reason am tey tey say spata don
trow me side base”but as matter take tear open
yansh “nobi so”,my guy spata use him head
well jare”na only gawd forsaken bamboo go
see men in kakki and still confront am”nah
brain work e require and na watin this my man
here do be that”tem tem!! twale!! for him joor
“spataa!!! chop and clean mouth one!!!!”
see eh! for this thing wey u do for me eh!”i no
go quick forget am”i don memory card am store
for head”
“you be sure guy oya chop am”….i hail spata
as we chop nockle”
“so we go visit mamy water them place be
that?….na spata dey ask that one
“ah!! no worry”just reserve ya strength”nah you
go tear race,na u go tire infact u go dey point
them finger like say them be point and kill”…all
u go dey do nah to just point any one you like,i
go pay then na journey to dah kingdom dah
come e go be”u go fvck tireeee!!!!!!
“mamy water them place,nah our coded way of
calling prostitutes joint”so spata just yan me
onto say na olosho toto him want make i take
appreciate am”only if to say him know watin
dey front Chai him for reserve strength wella”
“tho na hospital we dey head to naw”from dia
we go branch boutique go shop wears after
that,we moto go tear race enter road warri
straight “
“why u still dey dull ya sef onto the offer matter
sef”…big mama
“i no dull anything o!”infact i don accept all”na
me and this my guy hia go dey run thing
together”………i reply am
“wow e make better sense like that”so him go
follow us chuk head enter warri be that…big
mama asked
“warriiii!!!”……spata shout!
“Ehe! spata relax i go yan u better later”i said
to spata as i face big mama
“yes na”we be like bread and tea”beans and
rice”so there is no how him no go follow
us”….na me reply
“good nahim be say i go dey introduce two of
una be that…bg mama reply
we are here ma! ….na striker talk that one onto
say we don reach hospital”
“we waka come down enter the big hospital”as
them direct us go one better side for the
hospital”me sef i begin reason whether na V I
P be this place too”
“e surprise me as i found out say na big mama
get the hospital”Chai this woman just too
much”…na so so ma! ma! i just dey hia every
wia”but watin i like pass na the fine fine nurse
wey full dia,e be like say na their beauty be the
CV wey them dey take employ them”fine pink
gown wey no even long at all e just stop for
their laps ewooo!! “watin man no go see”if
them turn their back to waka eh! na hell ,e dey
vibrateee !! like caterpillar engine”
“one nurse come meet us wia we sit down dey
enjoy better AC”
“please sir u can follow me now”….she yan
“ehhh!!…i open mouth
“u can come with me for your treatment
sir”…..she still yan again
“watin u talk”….. i still ask am “see make una
no blame me na my sense wey no gree
function again as i begin use eye to dey waya
her like that”she toooo ! fine dieeee !!!!.”make
una follow me hear voice nah”e be like piano
abi trumpet for my ear”
“dont be stupid spana!!”….na madam shout for
my head
“Chai see rubbish voice why this woman come
use this her mama voice pursue the angelic
one wey dey my head”ha!,i vex as i stand
begin follow the fine nurse for back”
“nah gawd be say i no grab her bouncing back
“one mind for my head dey shout eyyeeehhh !!
spana grab this thing nah!!
“another one shout gbese le oo!!! “this one fit
be commander pikin oo!!!”
“i still dey wonder which mind to follow”i nor
even know when the nurse branch enter one
room like that nah when i reach outside the
hospital my eye clear!
“i begin turn around like ceiling fan”
“you are not serious”what were u think if may
ask” the nurse ask as she waka come meet me
for outside”
“ah ah i think say i dey follow u for back o!…i
“what!!”i guess your brain is affected
too”….she reply
“no go insult me o! abi u don tire to dey work
for hia!”….i vex for the nurse
“oh i was only joking bros”oya make we enter
inside so that i go treat u abeg no vex
eh!…..she yan correct PIDGIN wey sweet pass
stupid English
“Chai so u sabi yan correct”nahim u come dey
tear my ear drum with ya grama”
“i be confirm calabar babe nah”i dey chop
PIDGIN like yam bros”
“aahhh!! iren pkoo !! “e Bleep e kpoo !!
asin!!!””Chai!! so u be calabar ah ah ah! noo
wonder!,,,,,,,omo e sweet me die as the babe
yan me say she hail from calabar”
“ha ha ha ha!!!! u funny o bros so for ya mind
all this ya iren kpoo! na calabar u dey yan
abi??….she yan
“oya make we enter wia u go treat me”we go
talk tire becos i like calabar girls well well!!…i
yan as we begin enter the hospital
“e sweet me reach my kpekus as e come be
say na only me dey inside the fine room wey
she dey treat me”i just balance for bed as she
close door and begin mix some liquids and
injection wey she call pain relive”
“i dey enjoy am pass “anytime she bend down
for ground to pick something omo she go bend
down come expose yansh like plasma tv”
“oya turn ya back make i inject u the pain
reliver before i go begin clean the wounds with
spirit”….she yan as i turn my back,she come
say make i comot clothes leave only boxers”i
quickly tear everything off sharpaly with hope
say she go comot her own too”
“oya your bom bom”
“ah na for yansh u won shuk me the injection
…i ask becos i no dey like am
“yes na”no worry i be expert e no go pain u at
all”…she yan
“ahhh !! ….naso i take collect the injection as
she use cotton wool rub am small before she
tell me say make i lay down back”
“i obey as i lay down jeje”but when wahala
come enter na when she begin use the spirit
clean all the wounds for my body,as she clean
my back and chest finish”she come yan me say
i go comot boxers say the wounds affect all my
body reach leg”
“na who no go gree comot boxers for this kind
matter”i stand up as i draw boxer viaaaa!!!
“aaaaahh!!!!!”……she scream
“watin i ask”…
“you be calabar boy??….she ask
“i be confirm warri guy i nor say as u be calabar
girl u go like this kind long thing abi”….i ask as
i do like better peson go lay down back for bed”
“she manage near me come dey clean my
wounds wey dey my laps”but each time her soft
palm touch my laps spana go increase in size”
“ah ah!! why your grand father come dey long
long like this e go tear ceiling o!….she yan as i
just smile dey wait make she touch spana
kpakam omo na carry go o!
“she clean reach my leg as she continue to dey
fight the urge to grab spana wey stand like
electric pool”she reach my foot come turn her
back side face me as she continue her
“omo if she fit hold her sef”her father!!”i not fit”i
grab her a*s and handle it”
aauuhhhh!!”she trowey the towel viaaaa!!!! dive
spana gaawwaaaam! enter her mouth
“aaaaghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!”i scream!!!!!


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